Episode 106. Adam’s Dilemma

Adam confesses that Stephan’s story is too much for him to take in all at once. However, as he promises to walk with Stephan towards a clearer understanding of Stephan’s vocation, Newton, Stephan’s father, barges into Adam’s office, beats and berates Stephan, and drags the boy away, leaving Adam to reflect on his attempts to love and inoculate Stephan from the story and destructive Newton family dynamics.


Episode 106 is told in 5 scenes.

Scene 106-00a: A Splash page for Adam’s Dilemma.

Scene 106-00b: A Recap of Episode 105. Stephan’s Formation. In the previous episode (Episode 105: Stephan’s Vocation) Stephan defended his sexual relationship with Fr. Clifford as consensual, holy, and transformative, leaving Adam reeling at the shock of dealing with a mixture of homoerotic lust, self-hatred, and a strong desire to protect the “innocence” of Stephan.

Scene 106-00b: A Recap of Episode 105. Stephan’s Formation. In the previous episode (Episode 105: Stephan’s Vocation) Stephan defended his sexual relationship with Fr. Clifford as consensual, holy, and transformative, leaving Adam reeling at the shock of dealing with a mixture of homoerotic lust, self-hatred, and a strong desire to protect Stephan’s the “innocence.”

Scene 106-01. Stephan confesses his trust in Adam. Adam admits that Stephan’s story is a lot for him to take in. Stephan confesses his trust in Adam and almost confesses his love for him. Adam suggests to Stephan that having sex every night with married retreatants is not the normative life of a monastic. Stephan finally comes out and tells Adam that the reason he wanted to share this dream with Adam was because he could see Adam as the type of guy he might want to be in community with. When Adam asks why, Stephan realizes that Adam may not realize that he is gay.

Scene 105-02: Adam recalls Caleb’s benediction. Stephan’s disappointment reminds Adam of the painful goodbye when Caleb, his seminary roommate whom he not-so-secretly loves, is packing after being formally expelled from Seminary for having sex with another man on the premises. Adam offers to pray for Caleb, but Caleb rejoices in his freedom to love and follow the calling of Spirit, unencumbered by the Church. Caleb, who loves Adam but can’t get Adam to admit the feeling is mutual, asks Adam to go away with him, but Adam denies their love. Neither able to convince Adam to acknowledge their love nor convince Adam to speak of a future together, Caleb blesses Adam and leaves.

Scene 105-03. Stephan spots Newton. Adam’s reverie is broken when Stephan cries out “Fuck!” Stephan has seen his father, Newton, heading up the path to Adam’s office and panics. He begs Adam to hide him, but Adam says that he can’t do that. Adam promises that everything will e okay. Just be civil, he suggests, and we’ll talk, later, he promises. Stephan, unsure, quivers in place as Newton bangs on the door. Adam tells Stephan that he is going to have to let his father in.

Scene 106-04. Newton claims his son. Newton barges into Adam’s study, accusing Stephan of hiding from him and tells Stephan that they have to leave immediately for dinner with the Pritchetts, the family of Stephan’s fiancée, Ashley. When Adam assures a panicked Stephan that they can talk about his situation later, Newton assures Adam that Stephan has already wasted entirely too much of Adam’s time and everybody else’s. “It’s high time, Father Adam,” Newton declares, “that Stephan grow up and try to act like a man.” Newton drags Stephan out the door and down the path.

Scene 106-05. Adam prays for Stephan—and himself. As newton beats and berates and drags Stephan down the street to their house, Adam prays for protection for Stephan’s vocation and well-being in light of the struggles Stephan will face. Then Adam prays for the strength and wisdom to guide his young friend through waters he feels he didn’t manage all that well, himself.


< Episode 105. Stephan’s Formation || Book 2. Adam’s Stumble >
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One thought on “Episode 106. Adam’s Dilemma

  1. Pingback: AF Story Bible Updates for the Week of Sun, 31 August 2014 | The Adam’s Fall Story Bible

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